According to HelpGuide – “Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand, use, and manage your own emotions in positive ways to relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathize with others, overcome challenges and defuse conflict. Emotional intelligence helps you build stronger relationships, succeed at school and work, and achieve your career and personal goals. It can also help you to connect with your feelings, turn intention into action, and make informed decisions about what matters most to you”.
I have talked about seven rainbow rules to increase Emotional Intelligence in my earlier post.
There are four key skills which helps you to increase your EQ – Self Awareness, Self Management, Social Awareness and Relationship Management.
These skills can be developed but prior that it is important to understand how to deal with emotions. If I say it’s our thoughts which creates emotions, I won’t be wrong.
Now there are two common beliefs which contradict each other. First -you should always trust emotions and second – is feelings are irrational and cannot be trusted. In reality both these beliefs are wrong.
People generally ask questions like should emotions be trusted, So if you understand that your thoughts create your emotions, you can learn how to control your thoughts. Emotions are just body reactions to what you are thinking in various situations. They are neither right nor wrongs it is just reacting to your thoughts. Unhappy is an emotion, you can be unhappy because you don’t have something you desire but you are unhappy because of the thought of not having something you desire.
Your unconscious mind is always working , that’s why sometimes people have no idea why do they feel the way they do. Sometimes people’s emotions get triggered by cues which we get from the environment but most of the times it is our thoughts which triggers our emotions. It is our interpretation of the situation that causes emotional reaction to the situation.
There is something called as CBT (Cognitive behavioral therapy) which provide us evidence that we have control over our thoughts and that’s when we can actually control our emotions. This is difficult but this skill can be learned. For that you need to recognize the negative emotion, you identify the thought behind it and then you can change the emotion. If you succeed in doing that , you can have better personal and professional relationships, which in turn can accelerate your success.
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