Causes and Tips to Deal with Stress #CauseAChatter

Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven’t fallen asleep yet.

I feel our lives are far more complicated and stressful now than were in the past.  Stress is a broad brushstroke, it is the finer, emotional detail that causes us to behave in particular way. According to me stress itself in not negative but the way we respond towards different situations or emotions makes it negative or positive. But it is immensely imperative to know what are the causes of stress and how can we deal with it before we gets into perceptual darkness.

Causes of Stress

Unable to Express

We get stressed over what we have suppressed as opposed to expressed.  When a person is unable to express his/her anger and repressed aggression feels completely powerless and this will not only increases stress level but, in many instances, manifested as depression.

Feeling Dis empowered

When a person feel that they have no control over what happens in their lives, it is as if they are mere pawns on a larger chessboard, where their contribution and performance doesn’t mean anything and do not guarantee maintaining their job. In 1990, a Labour Force Survey in Britain revealed that one percent of the population suffers from work related stress, anxiety disorder or depression and within span of five years, the percentage has risen to 30% and if the scale were to continue , the percentage would now be even higher.

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Ways to Tackle Procrastination

In my previous post I have talked about Procrastination and reasons Why procrastinators procrastinate. And as promised I am here with different ways to tackle procrastination.

We procrastinate about things that make us a little bit uncomfortable. You think about something you don’t particularly like and the pain centers of your brain light up so you shift and narrow your focus of attention to something more enjoyable. This causes you to feel better. At least temporarily but sadly the long term effects of habitual avoidance can be nasty. When you put off your studies it can become even more painful to think about studying it. You can choke on tests because you haven’t laid the firm neural foundations you need to feel comfortable with the material. Procrastination can be a single monumentally important keystone bad habit, a habit in other words that influences many important areas of your life. If you improve your abilities in this area many other positive changes will gradually begin to unfold.

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10 Reasons – Why do people procrastinate?

I have been talking about different learning techniques and various barriers which hinder the process of effective learning from quite a some time now. One of the most crucial and widely accepted barrier which I would like to share in detail is “Procrastination”. Someone rightly said “Procrastination is a grave in which opportunity is buried”. This article is inspired by one of my all time favorite book “What our habit reveal about us” as it is beautifully described there.

Stop nagging me, I will do it. How many times have you said it or heard it at some stage of your lives, only to remember a week later that we still haven’t done what was required?

Procrastination is almost endemic amongst the human race, with one in five people being classified as chronic procrastinators. Internet has made it even more worst as it is so much more fun to check your emails , go gaming, view in a few web pages, enroll in yet another dating sites or head for the chat room. Rather than increase our productivity, 45% of the time we spend online is to avoid actual working. Which is a huge dent in the work life of an average employee. Time management and procrastination are related but not to an extent that one might assume. In fact low self esteem is the most significant trait of the procrastinator, which leads to larger ego. Lets understand this better. In order to compensate for feelings of inadequacy one needs to inflate oneself. To do this our ego creates a world where it can thrive, at the expense of our higher self. Most of us suffer from low self -esteem in some area or another. Why do procrastinators procrastinate?

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Spotlight Syndrome – Feeling Self-Conscious

Pic Courtesy : Google/Canva

As an EQ Coach I interact with clients who have got lot of emotional issues. And one of the most critical one is being overtly self conscious. This leads to poor self and body image. So in this particular post I will be talking about what is Spotlight Syndrome, why does this happens and how to deal with it.

What is a Spotlight Syndrome?

The Spotlight Syndrome causes people to assume that they are being observed and noticed by others more than they actually are.

Most of the time this happens when a person interact with others they know that they will be assessed, evaluated and judged based on their appearance, this makes them more conscious. But does this happens with every individual? Then my answer is No.

In order to be less self-conscious and more confident it is important that we should understand Why this happens and How to deal with it.

Why does this happens?

This generally happens when an individual is unable to differentiate his own perspective with the perspective of others towards world views. In spotlight effects, since we are so focused  on our own appearance and action, it becomes difficult for us to remember that other people are not as focused on what we look like or on what we do , since they are already preoccupied with their own lives for the most part. This is mostly associated with negative thoughts and emotions. People kind of overestimate how likely other people are to notice negative things about you, this leads to increase in anxiety and prevent you to take actions that are in your best interest.

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Changing Minds- Human Psyche is Multi-faceted – Campus To Corporate

And finally, we have reached to the last post of the series “Campus to Cooperate”. I consider this as the most important of all . There are two reasons for it,

Firstly I chose this theme to help students and freshers who are looking for a job and due to the pandemic finding it difficult to prepare. To deal with this, I came up with some extremely valuable tips which can aid them with tools and strategies to have smooth transition from Campus to Corporate. The topics which I covered were:

Professional Dressing Skills

Resume making tips

Tips on Group Discussion

Tips on Personal Interview

Tips on Virtual Interview

Ways to boost confidence

Emotional Intelligence

Secondly after understanding the Insight from Blogchatter ,the top themes which emerged were Mental health, Education and Motivation. As most of the time I talk about developing inner strength which deals with various critical skills and reflecting the same through appearance, I realized this is what my niche is ,which I need to capitalize on and I am certainly going in the right direction.

This Post has all the three elements in it and that is the reason I consider it as the most important and crucial post of this series.

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Emotional Intelligence leads to Success – Campus To Corporate

According to HelpGuide – “Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand, use, and manage your own emotions in positive ways to relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathize with others, overcome challenges and defuse conflict. Emotional intelligence helps you build stronger relationships, succeed at school and work, and achieve your career and personal goals. It can also help you to connect with your feelings, turn intention into action, and make informed decisions about what matters most to you”.

I have talked about seven rainbow rules to increase Emotional Intelligence in my earlier post.

There are four key skills which helps you to increase your EQ – Self Awareness, Self Management, Social Awareness and Relationship Management.

These skills can be developed but prior that it is important to understand how to deal with emotions. If I say it’s our thoughts which creates emotions, I won’t be wrong.

Now there are two common beliefs which contradict each other. First -you should always trust emotions and second – is feelings are irrational and cannot be trusted. In reality both these beliefs are wrong.

People generally ask questions like should emotions be trusted, So if you understand that your thoughts create your emotions, you can learn how to control your thoughts. Emotions are just body reactions to what you are thinking in various situations. They are neither right nor wrongs it is just reacting to your thoughts. Unhappy is an emotion, you can be unhappy because you don’t have something you desire but you are unhappy because of the thought of not having something you desire.

 Your unconscious mind is always working , that’s why sometimes people have no idea why do they feel the way they do. Sometimes people’s emotions get triggered by cues which we get from the environment but most of the times it is our thoughts which triggers our emotions. It is our interpretation of the situation that causes emotional reaction to the situation.

There is something called as CBT (Cognitive behavioral therapy) which provide us evidence that we have control over our thoughts and that’s when we can actually control our emotions. This is difficult but this skill can be learned. For that you need to recognize the negative emotion, you identify the thought behind it and then you can change the emotion. If you succeed in doing that , you can have better personal and professional relationships, which in turn can accelerate your success.

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Self Image

How we think and feel about ourselves influence the way we react or respond to life stressors. A positive self-image affects our physical, mental, social, emotional and spiritual well being. Self-image can determine the quality of our relationships with others.

People’s self-image, how they see themselves is normally based on the compliments and criticism received throughout their life, especially when they are young and vulnerable.

Have you ever asked yourself ” What was I thinking?” or thought to yourself “That was stupid” when doing something? That was your internal voice judging you. In some people that internal voice can be too critical and harsh , leading to low self- esteem. In others, it may be so weak that they don’t notice when they are mean or insensitive to others.

Listening your internal voice and judgments of yourself is the first step to changing your self-image and esteem. One way to gain a better understanding of your current self-image is to imagine your reactions to different situations you encounter.

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