Spotlight Syndrome – Feeling Self-Conscious

Pic Courtesy : Google/Canva

As an EQ Coach I interact with clients who have got lot of emotional issues. And one of the most critical one is being overtly self conscious. This leads to poor self and body image. So in this particular post I will be talking about what is Spotlight Syndrome, why does this happens and how to deal with it.

What is a Spotlight Syndrome?

The Spotlight Syndrome causes people to assume that they are being observed and noticed by others more than they actually are.

Most of the time this happens when a person interact with others they know that they will be assessed, evaluated and judged based on their appearance, this makes them more conscious. But does this happens with every individual? Then my answer is No.

In order to be less self-conscious and more confident it is important that we should understand Why this happens and How to deal with it.

Why does this happens?

This generally happens when an individual is unable to differentiate his own perspective with the perspective of others towards world views. In spotlight effects, since we are so focused  on our own appearance and action, it becomes difficult for us to remember that other people are not as focused on what we look like or on what we do , since they are already preoccupied with their own lives for the most part. This is mostly associated with negative thoughts and emotions. People kind of overestimate how likely other people are to notice negative things about you, this leads to increase in anxiety and prevent you to take actions that are in your best interest.

Pic Courtesy : Google/Canva

How to deal with it?

Try and Relax

Firstly assume that you are overestimating people’s reactions towards you and even if someone notice what you are worried about , they probably won’t care much the way you do and probably won’t even remember in the long run as people have short term memory when it comes to others, so relax and give yourself a break.

Self -Distancing Technique

It is difficult to keep our emotions aside while taking any decisions in life as most of the time your decisions involves you yourself and people who you care about. But this can cause lots of problems, as emotions often causes us to make wrong decision in important area of life. Self-distancing can actually reduce the impact of emotions significantly and helps in making better decisions.

So when you self-distance yourself from your inner self, you also reduce the impact of other’s perception about you and thus allow  you to see thins in clearer, less biased manner. This means that when you are thinking about how other people see you , you should try to look at yourself from perspective that is different from your own.

Get Feedback

Taking feedback from others can actually help you overcoming Spotlight effect. Specially if you are worried about people noticing you, you can ask someone you trust to give you a feedback about how noticeable you are. This can help you understand whether you are overestimating people’s reaction towards you or you are right  thinking that way.


In reality we not only overestimate negative things but also positive things.  In case of overestimation of positive things it is appropriate if you disclose to people about you positive attributes so that you do not feel guilty about feeling in certain way.

Aim at reducing your inherent bias so that you not only can think clearly and rationally but be less over conscious and anxious. As this does more harm than good and so try to control your emotions and start believing in what you really are and aim to be.

Pic Courtesy : Google/Canva


24 Replies to “Spotlight Syndrome – Feeling Self-Conscious”

  1. Though I had not heard this term before but yes I had observed this kind of behavior many times. Loved all the tips you had share here. I believe taking feedback and try to relax work best.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You explained it beautifully. I have seen these symptoms in people I know but didn’t know that we call I Spotlight syndrome. But after reading your post it makes complete sense to me.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Very interesting topic you have written about. I have seen many women going down this road and crashlanding. I have learnt to Self-distance as you have pointed out. I just don’t let people crowd my thoughts. Life becomes very toxic otherwise.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I think its a common habit of people to overestimate others reactions towards themselves. Never knew it to be a disorder. Would love to know more about your work as an EQ Coach.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Tell me about that you won’t believe but I was once victim of this syndrome back in school when I was a over pampered child thanks to my teachers and change in mums attitude at something stirred inside me and I came out of my cocoon great tips again Swati

    Liked by 1 person

  6. That’s a new term for me, I had no idea that such a feeling of self-consciousness has a name too, spotlight syndrome. I guess we all suffer from this syndrome or have been through this phase. Thank you for sharing the tips to deal with it effectively.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. What a wonderful read. I think this is the time to truly invest in our makeover. We all tend to underestimate ourselves. I am personally undergoing a beautiful coaching session that has helped me evolve…I think it is important for us to believe in ourselves, our abilities…Take time to think about WHAT do we really want from ourselves and 2020 is THAT year of reflection.

    Liked by 1 person

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