As an EQ Coach I interact with clients who have got lot of emotional issues. And one of the most critical one is being overtly self conscious. This leads to poor self and body image. So in this particular post I will be talking about what is Spotlight Syndrome, why does this happens and how to deal with it.
What is a Spotlight Syndrome?
The Spotlight Syndrome causes people to assume that they are being observed and noticed by others more than they actually are.
Most of the time this happens when a person interact with others they know that they will be assessed, evaluated and judged based on their appearance, this makes them more conscious. But does this happens with every individual? Then my answer is No.
In order to be less self-conscious and more confident it is important that we should understand Why this happens and How to deal with it.
Why does this happens?
This generally happens when an individual is unable to differentiate his own perspective with the perspective of others towards world views. In spotlight effects, since we are so focused on our own appearance and action, it becomes difficult for us to remember that other people are not as focused on what we look like or on what we do , since they are already preoccupied with their own lives for the most part. This is mostly associated with negative thoughts and emotions. People kind of overestimate how likely other people are to notice negative things about you, this leads to increase in anxiety and prevent you to take actions that are in your best interest.
How to deal with it?
Try and Relax
Firstly assume that you are overestimating people’s reactions towards you and even if someone notice what you are worried about , they probably won’t care much the way you do and probably won’t even remember in the long run as people have short term memory when it comes to others, so relax and give yourself a break.
Self -Distancing Technique
It is difficult to keep our emotions aside while taking any decisions in life as most of the time your decisions involves you yourself and people who you care about. But this can cause lots of problems, as emotions often causes us to make wrong decision in important area of life. Self-distancing can actually reduce the impact of emotions significantly and helps in making better decisions.
So when you self-distance yourself from your inner self, you also reduce the impact of other’s perception about you and thus allow you to see thins in clearer, less biased manner. This means that when you are thinking about how other people see you , you should try to look at yourself from perspective that is different from your own.
Taking feedback from others can actually help you overcoming Spotlight effect. Specially if you are worried about people noticing you, you can ask someone you trust to give you a feedback about how noticeable you are. This can help you understand whether you are overestimating people’s reaction towards you or you are right thinking that way.
In reality we not only overestimate negative things but also positive things. In case of overestimation of positive things it is appropriate if you disclose to people about you positive attributes so that you do not feel guilty about feeling in certain way.
Aim at reducing your inherent bias so that you not only can think clearly and rationally but be less over conscious and anxious. As this does more harm than good and so try to control your emotions and start believing in what you really are and aim to be.