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What is Empathy Gap ? Ways to Deal With It #CauseAChatter

The term “empathy” is used to describe a wide range of experiences.Emotion researchers generally define empathy as the ability to sense other people’s emotions, coupled with the ability to imagine what someone else might be thinking or feeling. … “Cognitive empathy,” sometimes called “perspective taking,” refers to our ability to identify and understand other people’s emotions.

Have you ever felt that someone doesn’t have the same feelings toward you as you have toward them or struggled to predict how you will act when you are angry about something, if we’re currently calm or unable to feel the same pain which other person is undergoing when you are at peace and can only think rationally?

Yes, this happens when we misjudge our own emotions or behaviour and this is what Empathy Gap is all about.

Empathy Gap means when you are in certain mental state for example happy or angry, you are unable to understand the perspective or predict the action of someone who is in a different mental state. For example if you are on diet and currently full, the empathy gap will unable you to access how well you will be able to handle the temptation to eat when you are hungry.

Empathy Gap is one of the cognitive bias where a person finds it difficult to understand their mental state which is different from their present mental state or struggle to understand how such states effect people’s decision making.

Therefore I won’t be wrong in saying that empathy gap has serious implications when it comes to interpreting and predicting people’s behavior, including your own, so it’s imperative to understand it so that we know how to deal with it.

Empathy gap can appear in variety of situations

  1. When it comes to misjudging our own emotions and behaviours . Lets understand this with few examples, When a person is calm, they overestimates their ability to stay composed in stressful situation or when a person no longer have feelings for another person they generally underestimate how much their feelings for that person affected their judgment in the past.
  2. When it comes to misjudging the behaviour and emotions of others . Here a person struggle to understand why someone who is nervous about something acted the way that they did, if we don’t share their feelings on the topic or struggle to see that someone doesn’t necessarily have the same feelings toward us as we have toward them.
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Hair Care and Makeup Tips during Pregnancy – How to Look and Feel Good- Series

Hair Care

Hormones that cause skin changes may also cause changes in your hair during pregnancy. For some women , hair is longer, thicker, softer and shinier and normal hair loss decreases but for some hair becomes oily, dry, dull and brittle. Whether you have problems or a beautiful hair, practice good hair care while you go through the change of pregnancy. A regular routine includes: Brushing, brush in moderation with a good bristle brush preferably natural or nylon. Bristle should be widely spaces which can reduce breaking of hair. Washing, select a clear, mild shampoo with as few additives as possible. Wash your hair with warm water as with cold water hair doesn’t clean well and too hot water removes natural oil and weakens hair. Conditioning, Hormonal changes during pregnancy can make your hair dry and dull. Conditioner coat the hair to protect it from excess drying, to reduce tangles and to restore shine and makes it manageable.

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Causes and Tips to Deal with Stress #CauseAChatter

Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven’t fallen asleep yet.

I feel our lives are far more complicated and stressful now than were in the past.  Stress is a broad brushstroke, it is the finer, emotional detail that causes us to behave in particular way. According to me stress itself in not negative but the way we respond towards different situations or emotions makes it negative or positive. But it is immensely imperative to know what are the causes of stress and how can we deal with it before we gets into perceptual darkness.

Causes of Stress

Unable to Express

We get stressed over what we have suppressed as opposed to expressed.  When a person is unable to express his/her anger and repressed aggression feels completely powerless and this will not only increases stress level but, in many instances, manifested as depression.

Feeling Dis empowered

When a person feel that they have no control over what happens in their lives, it is as if they are mere pawns on a larger chessboard, where their contribution and performance doesn’t mean anything and do not guarantee maintaining their job. In 1990, a Labour Force Survey in Britain revealed that one percent of the population suffers from work related stress, anxiety disorder or depression and within span of five years, the percentage has risen to 30% and if the scale were to continue , the percentage would now be even higher.

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Skin Care during Pregnancy- How to Look and Feel Good -Series

This is my third post on the series How to look and Feel Good During Pregnancy. As I mentioned in my first post of this series .that during pregnancy there are innumerable hormonal and chemical changes takes place which causes changes in your skin too. Changes like stretch marks , complexion colour change and spider vein, diminishes or disappear after delivery. However , neglecting these changes may infuriate skin problems during pregnancy. Therefore it becomes even more important to take good care and maintain regular care routine of your skin during pregnancy which includes cleansing, thinning, toning and moisturizing. Lets discuss Skin Care process in detail:

Cleansing : Your skin needs special attention while you are pregnant. Cleanse skin once or twice a day. A complete cleansing  removes surface oil, stale oil, perspiration and bacteria that accumulate during the day. A good cleansing agent is gentle, non irritating, easily removed and economical. A pure mild soap is the best cleanser. It is easily rinsed away and inexpensive. Problem result when you use harsh soap, scrub too vigorously, don’y rinse thoroughly or fail to use moisturizing lotion after washing.

Perfume, deodorant, antibacterial agents and medications added to cleanser may cause irritation and allergic reactions. Exotic oils, herbs, fruits and vegetables may also be irritating. These are included for advertising effect and add nothing to the cleansing value of the product.

When cleansing, moisten your face and apply lathered soap or rinsable lotion to your face and neck. Wash with gentle, circular motions. Rinse several time with clear, warm water and pat nearly dry with a soft, clean towel. Come morning, a warm to comfortable hot water wash may be all that’s required to remove away oil accumulated during the night.

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Dressing For Pregnancy – How to Look and Feel Good – Series

This is my second post on the series How to look and Feel Good During Pregnancy. Multiple studies have shown that dressing good adds to confidence. The symbolism behind what you wear has more of an impact on your behaviour and self confidence than clothes themselves. The good news about having a pregnant bump is that you can get away with a lot during pregnancy, such as body-clinging tops (remember for once your body is firm not flabby). Experiment with styles, colours and clothes you’d usually avoid. Dressing the right way during pregnancy will definitely enhance your pregnancy glow.

Allowances for an expanding figure are usually incorporated into ready-to-wear maternity clothing and sew-at-home patterns so you can wear your usual size. Sweat glads and oil glands become more active during pregnancy. They contribute to increased perspiration and may cause chilling or overheating. Select fabrics in weights that maintain comfortable body temperature as they absorb and release body perspiration. On personal note I have seen people buying maternity clothes much before it is actually needed. This makes them feel foolish and disappointed as it might not fit. So my advise to all the newbie momies is – it is wiser to wait for a maternity wardrobe until you really need it.

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How to Feel and Look Good during Pregnancy- Series -Tips from an Image Consultant

I am writing”How to look and feel good during Pregnancy” series because somewhere I feel there are lot many women like me who have not taken enough care of themselves both physically and mentally during their pregnancy and after effects are really nasty. Hair thinning , flaking and dry skin are the most common after effects. Mood fluctuations , depression , not feeling confident, feeling vulnerable and anxious are few things which makes them mentally feeble. So this series is about positivity, how to feel and look good during pregnancy,

When you are pregnant, you reflect a special beauty about you that is unparalleled at any other time in your life. Yet pregnancy can be difficult as you anticipate and adjust to the changes in your body. Even though you may be thrilled about being pregnant, you may not be thrilled with the way you look. Your figure, skin, hair and nails may change. You may feel insecure about your appearance. You may feel frustrated by the decision about ” what to wear” or defeated by a limited selection of maternity clothes – often at affordable prices.

But you don’t have to feel anxious or insecure about the way you look. As an Image Consultant I can help you look and feel terrific, even glamorous, if you follow my tips. Gone are the days of secrecy and seclusion surrounding pregnancy. Today, You are encouraged to maintain your usual lifestyle during the maternity months. You can work, exercise, entertain and enjoy until your baby is born.

Being attractively groomed and neatly dresses will help you look and feel terrific. Use your cosmetics and clothes as an outward expression of the beauty developing inside you. I will be giving you tips on four factors :

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Ways to Tackle Procrastination

In my previous post I have talked about Procrastination and reasons Why procrastinators procrastinate. And as promised I am here with different ways to tackle procrastination.

We procrastinate about things that make us a little bit uncomfortable. You think about something you don’t particularly like and the pain centers of your brain light up so you shift and narrow your focus of attention to something more enjoyable. This causes you to feel better. At least temporarily but sadly the long term effects of habitual avoidance can be nasty. When you put off your studies it can become even more painful to think about studying it. You can choke on tests because you haven’t laid the firm neural foundations you need to feel comfortable with the material. Procrastination can be a single monumentally important keystone bad habit, a habit in other words that influences many important areas of your life. If you improve your abilities in this area many other positive changes will gradually begin to unfold.

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10 Reasons – Why do people procrastinate?

I have been talking about different learning techniques and various barriers which hinder the process of effective learning from quite a some time now. One of the most crucial and widely accepted barrier which I would like to share in detail is “Procrastination”. Someone rightly said “Procrastination is a grave in which opportunity is buried”. This article is inspired by one of my all time favorite book “What our habit reveal about us” as it is beautifully described there.

Stop nagging me, I will do it. How many times have you said it or heard it at some stage of your lives, only to remember a week later that we still haven’t done what was required?

Procrastination is almost endemic amongst the human race, with one in five people being classified as chronic procrastinators. Internet has made it even more worst as it is so much more fun to check your emails , go gaming, view in a few web pages, enroll in yet another dating sites or head for the chat room. Rather than increase our productivity, 45% of the time we spend online is to avoid actual working. Which is a huge dent in the work life of an average employee. Time management and procrastination are related but not to an extent that one might assume. In fact low self esteem is the most significant trait of the procrastinator, which leads to larger ego. Lets understand this better. In order to compensate for feelings of inadequacy one needs to inflate oneself. To do this our ego creates a world where it can thrive, at the expense of our higher self. Most of us suffer from low self -esteem in some area or another. Why do procrastinators procrastinate?

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Result Oriented Learning (ROL) – Workshop

I was invited as an expert to to have a session with final year engineering students .I decided to address them on the most crucial topic ” Result Oriented learning”. It is a very important education strategy which every educational institute should adopt while planning their core curriculum in order to choose appropriate pedagogy.

What is ROL?

Result oriented learning is also known as outcome based education. As per Wikipedia, Outcome based education is an “Educational theory that bases each part of an education system around goals(outcome). By the end of educational experience, each student should have achieved the goal. There is no single specified style of teaching or assessment in outcome based education, instead , classes, opportunities and assessments should all help students achieve the specified outcome. The role of faculty adapts into instructor, trainer, facilitator and mentor based on the outcome targeted.”

Growing competition and fast changing technology makes it imperative to align learning with elements like time, skill based and adaptive to achieve the desired result. Therefore result oriented learning becomes vital for meeting the growing and changing corporate requirements to have an access to right knowledge at the right time.

Result oriented learning encourages students to focus more on higher order thinking rather than just acquiring and understanding the concept to gain credit points. While designing the learning process or a plan one needs to define the desired outcome and objective.

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Spotlight Syndrome – Feeling Self-Conscious

Pic Courtesy : Google/Canva

As an EQ Coach I interact with clients who have got lot of emotional issues. And one of the most critical one is being overtly self conscious. This leads to poor self and body image. So in this particular post I will be talking about what is Spotlight Syndrome, why does this happens and how to deal with it.

What is a Spotlight Syndrome?

The Spotlight Syndrome causes people to assume that they are being observed and noticed by others more than they actually are.

Most of the time this happens when a person interact with others they know that they will be assessed, evaluated and judged based on their appearance, this makes them more conscious. But does this happens with every individual? Then my answer is No.

In order to be less self-conscious and more confident it is important that we should understand Why this happens and How to deal with it.

Why does this happens?

This generally happens when an individual is unable to differentiate his own perspective with the perspective of others towards world views. In spotlight effects, since we are so focused  on our own appearance and action, it becomes difficult for us to remember that other people are not as focused on what we look like or on what we do , since they are already preoccupied with their own lives for the most part. This is mostly associated with negative thoughts and emotions. People kind of overestimate how likely other people are to notice negative things about you, this leads to increase in anxiety and prevent you to take actions that are in your best interest.

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